Saturday, August 25, 2012

A Bitter Taste In My Mouth

You've infected me. Successfully. A strange adverb to use in conjunction with infection, but it's true - if I'm being honest. Antibodies should have developed after all the previous incarnations of streptococcus and bacillus and gram-positive and gram-negative and shades and shapes of bacterium wrapping their rampant limbs around my spinal column and spurring colonies and creation and metastasizing in my mind and chest.

Viruses and bacterium are fair. And this is where my pallid metaphor falls apart at the seams and is utterly inappropriate. You may have never attempted to be unfair, but their is nothing fair in the way you have crept across my skull and laid in wait for my vulnerable, juvenile self to fall into some self-antagonizing enamoured state.

I am faltering for words here - I don't know what to say, how to elucidate this je ne sais quoi, my creeping unease and distaste and hate and lust and frustration and encroaching enveloping self-destructive reproach to yourself and myself and ourselves. Just words, words, paltry, pathetic, fucking, words.