Thursday, December 29, 2011

A Scanner Darkly; Reflecting Myself In Its Glass Gaze

"The pain, so unexpected and undeserved had for some reason cleared away the cobwebs. I realized I didn't hate the cabinet door, I hated my life... My house, my family, my backyard, my power mower. Nothing would ever change; nothing new could ever be expected. It had to end, and it did. now in the dark world where I dwell, ugly things, and surprising things, and sometimes little wondrous things, spill out in me constantly, and I can count on nothing.
"What does a scanner see? Into the head? Down into the heart? Does it see into me, into us? Clearly or darkly? I hope it sees clearly, because I can't any longer see into myself. I see only murk. I hope for everyone's sake the scanners do better. Because if the scanner sees only darkly, the way I do, then I'm cursed and cursed again. I'll only wind up dead this way, knowing very little, and getting that little fragment wrong too."

      -Bob Arctor - A Scanner Darkly

A Scanner Darkly with psychedelics—terrifying—reflecting—seeing your own horror in the mirror, all of your fears, sinking, creeping into you. Deathly afraid of being alone—of losing yourself amongst all the little versions of you that you act with the appropriate characters. An endless playbill—infinite characters portrayed by infinite actors.

Existence; fear.

"Painful to live in fear, isn't it?"

     -Leon - Blade Runner