Julian, Julian, Julian...you've come through so much, my brother - so very much. I'm so proud of you — you have no idea. But even though you've grown so very little, you've grown so much at the same time. I don't think you'll lie and fade through this last ordeal. You may live, but only in the dimmest sense possible — blind to the world and everything it could ever offer.
At least you hid from the fighting and strife when more foolish men would have stood their ground. You are a keen observer — and this is your blessing and curse, brother.
You can't ever exist, I'm afraid. You already exist too partially for either of our safeties. But you will have a stunning obituary that leaves a legacy to the angels burning in hell with you.
-M
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